Harvard study reveals the word emotionally smart people use to sharpen skills and boost performance - Le Ravi

Harvard Study: The Power of Asking for Advice

When it comes to professional growth, the way you frame a question can transform the outcome. One manager learned this lesson during one of the toughest moments in their career—announcing layoffs to hundreds of employees for the first time.

Questions from the team came fast and sharp. The manager recalled saying, “I don’t know if this wave of layoffs will be the last,” a response that created more uncertainty than clarity. Believing they had done reasonably well, they later sought input from the CEO, who had observed the meeting in silence.

“Not bad,” he said, patting my shoulder. “You did your best in a tough situation.”

Although the words were kind, the manager left feeling unsatisfied. It wasn’t praise they wanted—it was insight. They wanted to understand what to do better next time, what to avoid, and how to be more prepared. The real issue, they later realized, was not the feedback but the question itself.

Feedback vs. Advice

Research from Harvard Business School highlights how a simple shift in wording changes the quality of the response. When people ask for feedback, as in “How did I do?”, they often receive general or polite answers. Most respondents instinctively avoid criticism, either to protect the other person or themselves.

However, when people ask for advice, such as “What could I do differently?”, it invites constructive and detailed responses. This approach encourages real dialogue, helping individuals gain practical insights to improve performance and strengthen emotional intelligence.

Core Insight

The study concludes that emotionally intelligent individuals sharpen their skills not by seeking feedback but by asking for guidance through specific, actionable advice.

Author’s Summary: A Harvard study shows that asking for advice rather than feedback leads to clearer, more practical insights that enhance performance and emotional awareness.

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Le Ravi Le Ravi — 2025-11-04

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